All Men Secretly Want a Cigarette Crochet Blanket

10/27/2025

Cigarette blanket draped over the couch. Photo source: The author

Men are simple creatures? Right? Maybe, maybe not. That's probably up for debate, but that’s not the point of this blog post. My point is that all men secretly want a crocheted (or perhaps knitted) cigarette blanket. And if they say they don't, they're lying. (Just kidding!)

STORY TIME

One day in late winter, my partner came to me with an idea: a crocheted cigarette blanket.

“Can you make this?” he asked, handing me his phone. A blurry reference photo stared back at me.

I took a long glance and said, “Oh yes, I can make this! Just buy the yarn and I’ll get right to it.”. He was thrilled, and we quickly started brainstorming the supplies and the pattern. 

Supplies

Within a week, we were off to Joann Fabrics. We browsed the yarn aisles for a bit, and then he picked up an acrylic yarn. I immediately recoiled at the choice. I’m not a fan of acrylic yarn. The texture bothers me. I prefer to use natural fibers, but I had to remind myself that it wasn’t my blanket. It was his blanket!

The yarn he had picked up was the 'Big Twist Over a Pound' yarn. It was a dark yellow color, perfect for the filter color. This skein was massive! It had 1,087 yards of yarn! The packaging said three skeins would make a blanket, which was perfect for the budget and shopping convenience. We agreed that one yellow and two white skeins of 'Big Twist Over a Pound' yarn would suffice for the body.

All that was left was to find a yarn that mimicked the burning end of a cigarette. After some hunting, we found the perfect skein: a blend of construction orange and gray. Perfect. This skein was also from the Big Twist yarn brand. (It's like they knew we were making a cigarette blanket. Hehe). So, we left Joann's with everything we needed to bring the cigarette blanket to life!  

(Note: Shortly after our visit, Joann Fabrics announced it was closing all its stores. Sadly, I didn't grab photos of the exact skeins I used for the blanket. Down below are some photos for reference that I took at my last Joann Fabric's visit.) 

Yellow yarn for the base. Photo source: The author

White yarn for the body. Photo source: The author. 

Construction

Once we arrived home, I started finalizing my construction plans. I squinted at the blurry reference image and decided to go with a simple double crochet stitch. The size goal? Big enough for two people to cuddle up under the blanket comfortably. This thing was going to be huge.

The base chain ended up being about 58 inches long. I knew it would grow longer once I added rows, but I was determined to make sure it met his minimum size requirements. I figured 3,000 yards of yarn should do the trick — all I needed now was time.

Ratios:

• 1 skein of dark yellow for the base

• 2 skeins of white for the body

• 1 skein for the burning end. (Or use 2-3 different colored skeins to create a similar effect.)

Stitches: 

• Double crochet stitches for the body

• Single crochet stitches for the border.

Yardage:

~3,580 yards

Dimensions:

64in" x 60in"

End Result 

It took me about three months to tame those monstrous skeins and produce a blanket. Whew!

The final result was (and is) awesome! My partner was incredibly gleeful when I handed him the finished piece. And as luck would have it, we had friends show up just as I wove in the last loose end. One of our friends conveniently had a camera, and a hilarious photoshoot ensued.

It took multiple people to roll the blanket up into a mega, five-foot-long cigarette. The end goal was to make it look like they were "smoking" the blanket. It was quite a show to watch them lift it in the air and try to find things to support the rolled-up blanket. They finally decided upon a broomstick to keep it straight! They even incorporated a cowboy hat to simulate the Marlboro man. Due to privacy reasons, I won't share these photos, but you can imagine how they turned out.

Conclusion

And now? He curls up under it every night. Sometimes, I find myself crawling under the blanket as well. So, maybe all men really do want a cigarette blanket. Or maybe they want something soft, weird, and made with love. Honestly, who could blame them? 😉